Proof that such a menu item exists. Mo found this gem on Flickr, credit going to a Mr. Andrew Huff. Thanks, Mo!
21 November 2008
Rocky's Tacos
Guest Commentary by the Fabulous Ms. Monique Daviau:
(We should always be so lucky to have an organized note-taker along for the trip.)
I am honored to be a guest commentator on Burritos on Clark. Having spent most of my life in either California or Texas, I fancy myself an educated burrito consumer. I knock back at least two or three burritos a week and if I don’t get my little burro action, I get nervous.
At first glance, Rocky’s got high marks. A generally clean and well-lit establishment, Rocky’s Tacos is a shrine to the popular Mexican sport of futbol (soccer to us gringos). A giant, colorful mural of a soccer field takes up the far wall while a glassed-in case holds Mexican futbol memorabilia. The specialty of the house is the torta, aka Mexican Sandwich, and were this blog called Tortas on Clark, my feelings on Rocky’s might be different.
While the vegetarian Cortney went to the restroom, the waitress brought out chips and salsa. Curiously, the salsa was topped with chopped ham. Who the hell puts chopped ham on salsa? In all of my years of Mexican restaurant patronage, never once have I seen ham served with salsa. That was just weird. We asked for some ham-free salsa, which was heavy on the onions and the finely chopped jalapeno. Not bad, but a little too vinegary. I opted for the squeeze bottles of hot sauce, one red, one green. I preferred the green one as the red one was also vinegary. The chips were thick and dark, as if they had visited a tanning salon before being served to us.
My burrito arrived and it looked good. Al pastor pork, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a thick cloud of sour cream peeked out from where the cook had cut it in half. The al pastor was an utter failure*. They had failed to season the meat or roast it on a vertical spit, the way every reputable taqueria in Texas does. They had just taken a bunch of ground pork and thrown it on the grill.
A few bites into the burrito, all I could taste was the grill. I could taste the grisly burned crumbs of everything else they’d cooked over the last week instead of the rather flavorless ingredients. I abandoned the meat and squirted gobs of green salsa on my burrito. It was still a disappointment.
And what was up with Cortney’s enchiladas? They looked to be a few rungs down from my home version of enchiladas, made with El Paso-brand canned sauce. They appeared to contain cheese, rice, and pico de gallo.
Rocky’s wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t any good either. I will give them bonus points for not causing me any gastrointestinal distress. Of course, afterwards we hit Red Mango in Evanston for some probiotic frozen yogurt, so maybe coating our intestines with lactobacillus bacteria stopped any unpleasant trips to the can.
The best thing about Rocky’s Tacos is not the quality of their food, but their audacious use of the English language. On the menu is an item boldly called “Fuck You Referi.” I have to wonder if the owners of this establishment didn’t know that Americans generally don’t use the word “fuck” in the names of things they want to sell, unless it’s the title of a porn video. I briefly thought about ordering a dish that represents the anger a futboller feels towards an unfair ref but it had ham and other weird meat in it.
Maybe their tortas, of which they offered sixty or so varieties, are the way to go.
*for the most amazing pastor in the Chicagoland area, please visit La Cabanita on Ogden Ave in Brookfield. Inconvenient for those not already in the west suburbs, but the abuela in the kitchen knows how to make a rich, delicious al pastor!
(We should always be so lucky to have an organized note-taker along for the trip.)
I am honored to be a guest commentator on Burritos on Clark. Having spent most of my life in either California or Texas, I fancy myself an educated burrito consumer. I knock back at least two or three burritos a week and if I don’t get my little burro action, I get nervous.
At first glance, Rocky’s got high marks. A generally clean and well-lit establishment, Rocky’s Tacos is a shrine to the popular Mexican sport of futbol (soccer to us gringos). A giant, colorful mural of a soccer field takes up the far wall while a glassed-in case holds Mexican futbol memorabilia. The specialty of the house is the torta, aka Mexican Sandwich, and were this blog called Tortas on Clark, my feelings on Rocky’s might be different.
While the vegetarian Cortney went to the restroom, the waitress brought out chips and salsa. Curiously, the salsa was topped with chopped ham. Who the hell puts chopped ham on salsa? In all of my years of Mexican restaurant patronage, never once have I seen ham served with salsa. That was just weird. We asked for some ham-free salsa, which was heavy on the onions and the finely chopped jalapeno. Not bad, but a little too vinegary. I opted for the squeeze bottles of hot sauce, one red, one green. I preferred the green one as the red one was also vinegary. The chips were thick and dark, as if they had visited a tanning salon before being served to us.
My burrito arrived and it looked good. Al pastor pork, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a thick cloud of sour cream peeked out from where the cook had cut it in half. The al pastor was an utter failure*. They had failed to season the meat or roast it on a vertical spit, the way every reputable taqueria in Texas does. They had just taken a bunch of ground pork and thrown it on the grill.
A few bites into the burrito, all I could taste was the grill. I could taste the grisly burned crumbs of everything else they’d cooked over the last week instead of the rather flavorless ingredients. I abandoned the meat and squirted gobs of green salsa on my burrito. It was still a disappointment.
And what was up with Cortney’s enchiladas? They looked to be a few rungs down from my home version of enchiladas, made with El Paso-brand canned sauce. They appeared to contain cheese, rice, and pico de gallo.
Rocky’s wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t any good either. I will give them bonus points for not causing me any gastrointestinal distress. Of course, afterwards we hit Red Mango in Evanston for some probiotic frozen yogurt, so maybe coating our intestines with lactobacillus bacteria stopped any unpleasant trips to the can.
The best thing about Rocky’s Tacos is not the quality of their food, but their audacious use of the English language. On the menu is an item boldly called “Fuck You Referi.” I have to wonder if the owners of this establishment didn’t know that Americans generally don’t use the word “fuck” in the names of things they want to sell, unless it’s the title of a porn video. I briefly thought about ordering a dish that represents the anger a futboller feels towards an unfair ref but it had ham and other weird meat in it.
Maybe their tortas, of which they offered sixty or so varieties, are the way to go.
*for the most amazing pastor in the Chicagoland area, please visit La Cabanita on Ogden Ave in Brookfield. Inconvenient for those not already in the west suburbs, but the abuela in the kitchen knows how to make a rich, delicious al pastor!
20 November 2008
El not-so-Famous Burrito
Unlike Mary, I had no expectations about El Famous. So the prison bare walls and institutional atmosphere were only mildly off-putting. On the other hand, the board menu behind the counter with all of three veggie options was very disappointing.
Me and my meatless nachos were paired by circumstance. Like the best possible outcome for an arranged marriage, I never fell madly, truly in love, but me and my nachos developed a trust and a comfortable companionship as I mowed my way through them.
For meatless nachos, the amount of stuff on them was truly amazing. The carrots, the roasted jalapenos, the generous glops of guac and sour cream, the mounds of cheese and beans, the standard lettuce and tomato...made the mile walk home difficult but worth the eating extravaganza.
So yes, solid B for El Famous. A for the nachos, C for the atmosphere (and that's being generous because Mary didn't even want me to go to the bathroom and leave her alone with the other patrons).
Me and my meatless nachos were paired by circumstance. Like the best possible outcome for an arranged marriage, I never fell madly, truly in love, but me and my nachos developed a trust and a comfortable companionship as I mowed my way through them.
For meatless nachos, the amount of stuff on them was truly amazing. The carrots, the roasted jalapenos, the generous glops of guac and sour cream, the mounds of cheese and beans, the standard lettuce and tomato...made the mile walk home difficult but worth the eating extravaganza.
So yes, solid B for El Famous. A for the nachos, C for the atmosphere (and that's being generous because Mary didn't even want me to go to the bathroom and leave her alone with the other patrons).
13 November 2008
El Rey del Taco
Dear Mary,
I thought you liked this place. I did.
Love,
Cortney
Okay, so that's not a real review. Let me try again. I would put El Rey del Taco in the running for best burrito place on Clark Street so far. It definitely makes my top two. Now in saying that, I am judging solely on how much I loved my food. Which I did. I loved all three and a half pounds of it as it sat in my stomach like a booted car all night. In fact, other than the giant avocados, I don't really remember what all came in my veggie burrito suizo because I couldn't stop eating long enough to look. And the tortilla bowl of refried beans with grated cheese on top was heavenly. Like a gift from the burrito gods, even.
That being said, El Rey del Taco lacks atmosphere. I'm not sure how much the lack of atmosphere should matter when a burrito is so good. Since Mary and I have started this journey, we have visited a lot of completely empty restaurants. (The crackhead at the roach burrito place doesn't count as a legitimate diner.) This place had several other occupied tables, where other patrons ate as voraciously as we did. And this was well past standard dinner time.
I thoroughly enjoyed the unisex bathroom with your choice of urinal or stall. It reminded me of a trashy version of the Battlestar Gallactica bathrooms. And to get to this bathroom, you have to walk by some fabulous and tempting gumball machines with things like noisemaking animal key chains. Alas, I had no quarters that day.
So, El Rey del Taco, I am craving a bean bowl right now. You are one of the only two burrito places I would revisit so far, so congratulations. If the craving doesn't go away soon, I will be back.
I thought you liked this place. I did.
Love,
Cortney
Okay, so that's not a real review. Let me try again. I would put El Rey del Taco in the running for best burrito place on Clark Street so far. It definitely makes my top two. Now in saying that, I am judging solely on how much I loved my food. Which I did. I loved all three and a half pounds of it as it sat in my stomach like a booted car all night. In fact, other than the giant avocados, I don't really remember what all came in my veggie burrito suizo because I couldn't stop eating long enough to look. And the tortilla bowl of refried beans with grated cheese on top was heavenly. Like a gift from the burrito gods, even.
That being said, El Rey del Taco lacks atmosphere. I'm not sure how much the lack of atmosphere should matter when a burrito is so good. Since Mary and I have started this journey, we have visited a lot of completely empty restaurants. (The crackhead at the roach burrito place doesn't count as a legitimate diner.) This place had several other occupied tables, where other patrons ate as voraciously as we did. And this was well past standard dinner time.
I thoroughly enjoyed the unisex bathroom with your choice of urinal or stall. It reminded me of a trashy version of the Battlestar Gallactica bathrooms. And to get to this bathroom, you have to walk by some fabulous and tempting gumball machines with things like noisemaking animal key chains. Alas, I had no quarters that day.
So, El Rey del Taco, I am craving a bean bowl right now. You are one of the only two burrito places I would revisit so far, so congratulations. If the craving doesn't go away soon, I will be back.
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