La Choza Schamoza

What does it mean if your first burrito of the new year makes you want to run screaming back to bed, pull the covers over your head, invite a cat or three to sprawl on your legs, and mull over those midnight kisses and your ridiculous hangover? Could this be a harbinger of death? Or at least an omen of crappy to mediocre things to come?

2008 was a year of lost loves, travel adventures, semi-enthusiastic blogging, unemployment, and (of course) many burritos for Mary and me. So we thought, HEY, POOR NEGLECTED BLOG! WE ARE COMING BACK TO YOU, FULL-STEAM AHEAD! 2009 IS A GREAT YEAR TO GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER AND EAT MORE BURRITOS! (Yes, we think very loudly. And mostly out-loud.)

So we walked a mile and change, giddy with the prospect of beans to warm our souls and avocados to cool our feverish brains. La Choza, we said, over and over. Sounds like choice, doesn't it? Like, we choose you, Burritos on Clark.

The Absolutely Awful:

1. My vegetarian torta came on bread that was vaguely torta shaped, but tasted like a chewy, stale, hamburger bun. And not a good hamburger bum, but like a Wonderbread hamburger bun.

2. My vegetarian torta had, like, three watery beans. And some lettuce, tomato, and drippy sour cream. Oh, and a couple strands of cheese. It was so skimpy, all I could taste was the liquid mush drippies and that damn hamburger bun. Awful. Just awful.

3. The food was so freaking bad I knew we'd stumbled into the worst Burrito on Clark so far. No debating this one.

The Sort-of-okay:

1. There were Frieda Kahlo reproductions on the walls, so we had something to look at. Not the awesome hospital bed ones, but the portraits with the pretzel hair and pet monkey. So that was okay, Unfortunately, many of them were hung crookedly...

2. I think my coffee and torta came to four bucks and change. So it's not like I had to max out my credit card for this fine dining experience.

3. Mary kind of liked our server.

Okay, 2009, the next burrito better be better, or we'll be eating sushi on Broadway instead.